Secret Beach Bum

Beach Bum is probably my favorite secret persona. I could go to the beach in any season, lazing on the sand, reading a novel. Oh my gosh, I'm homesick just thinking about it. As many of you can probably guess, though, I have multiple secret lives:

• Cheerleading Captain: Apparently, this one gives people the most trouble, so let me get it out of the way first. I was a cheerleader for three years in high school and captain for two years. I LOVED the attention, though I would hate it now. Dancing was my favorite part; we danced at half-time. Remember I went to a small high school that didn't have a football team, so we cheered for basketball games. I wasn't good at making up dances since I never took dance lessons, but I loved the dances, and we usually performed them to rock songs. A song will come on the radio, and I'll say, "Ooh, we did a dance to this one." Wes always respond, "Of course you did." He seems to think we did way too many dances. We danced to "Eye of the Tiger," "Pyromania," "1999," and "Push It." Okay, so they weren't all rock songs. I can't remember any other songs until they play on the radio. I still remember some of the cheers, though, particularly the ones we learned at camp in Tallahassee in the summer in the heat. Yuck. Just to mess with people further, I was also a bat girl for the baseball team and a member of the tennis team and school photographer and a member of the yearbook squad and participated in the essay event for literary meet and won best actress for the region in One Act Play and was voted Class Flirt and was Miss Whigham. Any of the other ones mess with your image of me? (Smile)
• Detective Donna, able to crack any caper, unswayed by emotion except for vengeance for the injured. I feed this secret life through my voracious reading of murder mysteries. Often, I'd rather avoid real people to finish solving the crimes in my books. One day, I will write a murder mystery. Some friends and I started one once. We went to the beach (stay down, Beach Bum) and decided to write one, so we created characters while we were there. We have about seven chapters written, but we haven't returned to it in over a year.
• Marine Adventurer: I'm pretty sure I was mixed up at birth, and I was supposed to be born into a rich family so that I could afford to travel constantly to great oceans, swimming with sharks, diving with whales, watching great white sharks jump out of the water in search of seals, snorkeling with tropical fish. I'm not sure what happened. I love my family, but I may still have to file a complaint with the stork.
• Londoner: Yes, I'm an Anglophile. I love London and most things British. I've been to London three summers now for five weeks at a time. I would love to do a semester abroad, but unfortunately, I'm not willing to be away from Wes for three months--who knew I'd be that sappy? And he can't leave his business for three months. Well, he could, but then I probably couldn't afford to go to London. (Big sigh.) I love the theatre, public transportation, the pubs, the history at every step. I love the craziness of sitting in Parliament to hear debates on taxing pet food--the intimate frisking to enter was kind of interesting as well. I love watching the crazy motorcycle drivers, wondering if they'll survive the mad traffic scene. I especially adore wandering through free public museums and art galleries--all that history and culture available for anyone. The National Portrait Gallery fascinated me as I stared at images of all the kings and queens and daughters and sons and courtiers from Tudor England.
• Politeness Police: Sometimes, I just need to slap people. Children who yell at their parents in public--okay, I don't want to slap them. I just want their parents to discipline them. I'm not talking about high-spirited children. I like them. I'm talking about rude children who believe (because their parents have created this reality) that everyone should do their bidding. Those parents should keep those kids at home, where that reality can be maintained. People who snap at others for no reason should not be allowed in public. In fact, I think I should decide if people are allowed to leave their homes or not. The answer will usually be no. What's interesting is that I don't really understand most etiquette issues, such as who should be introduced first. I just know that politeness is a virtue that may need to be enforced on some people.
• Hermit: Lindsi is familiar with this side of me. She experienced it in Albuquerque as we avoided every possible person we might meet while going to Old Town. I need solitude, more than most people, certainly more than Wes, who is the extrovert in the relationship. But here's what's weird. Other than time for reading, I used to love being with people and being in the center of things. In fact, I realized at one point that I often wanted to be IN the center. I had two good friends, and I often walked between them. Weird, huh?

Hmm, I' m not sure what other secret lives I have, but I'm sure Wes has tons of ideas about all the personalities inside of me. The problem is that they're aren't really hidden. There are past Donnas and future Donnas. The chance to become Beach Bum Donna permanently entices me to play the lottery occasionally even though I know it's dumb.