Blackwater Writing Project

November 10, 2011

Cali Here I Come

I’m sitting in a million year old recliner, but I want to be in California. I’m watching reruns of Big Bang (which is set in California), after watching the new episode, and a commercial for California pops up. So I want to be in Cali beside that dude from Food Network with the bleach blonde hair eating some massive man meal he just cooked with our guest of honor Sheldon Cooper.

People swear parts of California aren’t what they are cracked up to be. According to Tucker Max and Joe, LA is the worst place in the world. As Tucker Max pointed out, there is a reason the reality shows featuring people who are famous for being famous such as Laguna Beach and that other show with all the blondes is set in LA. Joe just thinks LA is dirty. Which doesn’t make sense seeing as all the blondes erupting from there look very clean. “Look” is probably the operative word here.

My sister-in-law swears San Diego is the best place in the world. She lives in Vegas and has traveled all over, so I trust her. Apparently the weather is perfect year round and wine just falls out of the sky straight into your mouth. I’m not a big wine fan, but for perfect weather I could learn to love wine. If I could ensure there would be magic little elves to make my coffee in the morning with fresh ground beans I’d be packed in a second.

The commercials always show a variety of landscapes. I think I would like the variety. Imagine: snow, beaches, deserts, cities, and forests all in one state. Forgetting the fact that it takes several hours to drive from one landscape to the next, I would never be bored. I could skip school on Friday for a hike through the redwoods, spend Saturday snowboarding (I don’t know how to snowboard, but like the wine thing, I’m willing to learn), and then Sunday lounging by a vineyard.

Another thing those commercials always show…famous people! I haven’t met anyone famous yet and I desperately need to meet someone famous. I have a few in mind and I don’t even know if they live in California, but I feel like being in the state would be enough to up the chances of me meeting someone famous. I’m sure I would make a fool of myself and stammer while staring uncontrollably, but it would be worth it to share a moment with Josh Hartnett. Or Alexander Skarsgard. Maybe even Ryan Reynolds. And definitely Betty White.

When I’m finally done with Georgia, Cali will welcome me with open arms. Austin is willing. That snowboard idea is right up his alley.


  • When I was 16, I spent the summer in California--primarily LA. I loved it. The landscape is perfect; I was a few minutes from the foothills/mountains and the beach. Even in a huge city like LA, nature wasn't far away or hidden from view. On the beaches, the sand stretches inland forever. With the beaches here, you walk 60 feet in the sand towards the shore and you hit the waterline. At Huntington, you walk 100 feet, and you're not even halfway to the waterline. Loved it. Groups gather on the beaches early in the evening, and you can wonder down the beach, crashing bonfire after bonfire. Everyone, nearly everywhere, is extremely nice and relaxed. It's like everyone got the memo on southern politeness, but put a "Dude" in front of niceties. Admittedly, I had a very superficial experience with California--not sure I got begin to explain what it's heart would be like. But I had a great time with great new friends, and I sincerely hope you visit there soon.

    By Blogger Kristy S., at 8:03 PM  

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