Blackwater Writing Project

March 09, 2011

TWSS

I laughed when I first saw the topic this month. Countless times, I've comeback to someone's comment with either a "that's what she said" or, in text version, "TWSS." Many of those are lewd and probably not the best to write about here. They get good laughs, and the best is when I catch people who unsuspectingly set themselves up for a good "that's what she said."

I just came back from a leisurely stroll to the courthouse, which, incidentally, is a good 6-7 blocks from my office. Traffic citation payments. Not mine, mind you, but my husband's. What's with not being able to pay online? To quote a disgruntled student in my office the other day, "WHERE'S THE HUMANITY?" (seriously, melodramatic much?). I was deep in thought and looked up and saw this scrawled on the side of a building...maybe a parking garage or a government building...I wasn't paying much attention:



Without even a pause, I snapped a picture and sent it to one of my friends. Well, really to her, another friend, and my husband. All of the messages had the caption "TWSS" attached to the image. As funny as it is, I started thinking about it and how many times people have said that. Mostly girls.

It's such a typical girl line: "Was it something I said?" Seriously? Probably, but more than likely, she already knows the answer to that question. Why is it, though, that women take the fall? Even when it's not our fault, we usually assume the blame for a situation, especially in a relationship. It blows my mind. I used to be like that more than I am now. Previous relationships, previous situations. Now, instead of "was it something I said?" it's "yeah, that's what I said." Confidence in myself and total trust in unconditional love is an amazing thing. I forgot what that was all about.

I'm feeling pretty random today. It's been a weirdly emotional day for me. I went to Ash Wednesday service, and my work study pointed out to me a few minutes ago, "Do you know you have something black on your head?" It was bittersweet and I admit to tearing up a few times during the service. Some of it was because my ex-father-in-law was the pastor, and it's been year--since before he retired and before he was my EX-father-in-law--since I've heard him preach. But mostly it was what he was saying...healing old scars, especially emotional ones.

I've definitely got some old emotional scars. I need to heal those. I think I'm on my way, though, because I'm not a "Was it something I said?" kinda girl anymore.

TWSS.

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