Choices

Some people would say that having choices is a good thing. I, however, just got a card which gave me two choices. I could be behind a truck that drops 10,000 bowling balls all over the road or I could be behind a truck that dropped a bunch of wild animals all over the road. I wouldn't say that either one of them would be a very good choice.

However, if I have to pick, I think I'd take the animals. When I was a little girl, I had a favorite story that was entitled, "The Very Bad Day." The basis of the story was that the family had a bad day and the Mom was exasperated, so she said if this is going to be a bad day, let's make it the worse day posible. Now, that's what's you call an over achiever!

So, let's take the Mom's philosophy and if I'm going to have a wreck. Let's make it a very bad wreck. First, let's forget the backroads, let's imagine the whole thing happens right on where 85 and 285 meet--spagetti junction. Traffic in Atlanta is always bad, but let's put it at 5:00 in the afternoon, right when several million people have been released to go home. Next, since I wouldn't go to Altanta without them, let's put the 3 children, one redneck son-in-law, and one very grumpy 85 year old in the car, along with Alan and me. Since we no longer have a car that big, let's put us in a rental van with no insurance, and let's say that we're low on gas, and we, along with all of Florida have been evacuated for a possible hurricane. Now, we've got a story.

Ok, so it was a dark and stormy day, when we loaded up the zoo crew to escape living underwater. The hurricane had taken an unexpected turn toward Brunswich. Now, a hurricane had not hit Brunswich in over a hundred years, but today was the day that was going to break the cycle. Today the hurricane was going to hit and hit hard, sending water inland for over a hundred miles.

So, at the last minute we loaded up the two small kids, the 21 year old and her husband, my 85 year old mother and the white lab, Ruby. Did I mention Mom is afraid of dogs? Of course, since we didn't really believe the storm was going to hit, we backed at the very last possible minute. I knew we had already forgotten Ruby's treats, Mom's pain medicine, and Andy's underwear. I, however, were just amazed that we had made it this far. Traffic had been terrible, but I knew once we got through Alanta we were home free. Just 30 more minutes and we would be at Alan's brothers.
!
It was then, during this brief feeling of security that it happened. The semi truck in front of us had been weaving. Suddenly, as two bull elephants crashed through the back door, we realized why. "L-e-phonts," Andy screamed. "I want to pet the L-e-phonts." All of us looked up in time to see a giant foot barely miss the front of the van. Alan swerved the car saying expliatives that I cannot record.

Ruby began barking and George, good ole boy that he is, grabbed his rifle from under the seat. "You had that in the car with the kids," I screamed.
"Don't worry,I showed Allie and Andy how to use it before we left." With that George jumped out of the car in pursuit of the elephants.

Alllie said, "There are two hippos!"
I calmly corrected, "Rhinos, Allie, rhinos."
Anna screamed, "Whatever they are they're heading strait for the car!"
Bam!!!Bam, bam, bam.
All of us jumped. We looked out the side windown as we saw a very large man emerge from a pick up truck and began chasing George
Seems he was better at hunting trucks that elephants.
Mom got started now, "Can't anyone shut this do up! I hope we can get to an exit soon. I need to go to the bathroom."
Anna, "Grandmama, we are stuck between two elepants, two rhinos, and an angry truck driver."
Mother, "I don't care what we're stuck between. I've got to go to the bathroom. During my days in Trion, we never had to worry about Rhinos and elephants. No one drove and everyone kept their animals locked up."
Alan, "Shoot me, just shoot me now."
Andy, "Sheep, Sheep, I want to pet the sheep."
Allie, "I'm afraid of sheep! Hold me, Daddy!!!!"
About that time, George jumps back in the van without his gun.
Anna, "What are you doing Momma?"
"Praying that the hurricane will hit as far as Atlanta."