Weird Relatives

Hmm, I know I came up with the topic, but I worry immediately that someone will recognize his or her portrait if I start getting very specific. I'll just write about the ones who can laugh at themselves.

My oldest first cousin

• When we were playing kickball after Thanksgiving lunch several years ago, one of our cousins hit his wife on the butt with the kickball to tag her out. My cousin said, "Not much to be proud of there. How could you miss that target?" His wife is maybe a size eight, definitely not huge, but everyone is a target for his tongue. He is really funny, always teasing people. I love that man.
• Another time we went on a cruise. He had heard that you had to pay for soft drinks on the cruise, so he packed a whole suitcase full of Mountain Dew, his soft drink of choice. When he was unloading his suitcases, one of the soft drinks apparently got a hole punched in it, so it looked like his suitcase was taking a leak.
• When we were planning that cruise, he kept threatening to bring a cane pole so that he could fish off the side.

A good friend from college

• In the pre-cell phone days, she called me on my home phone one day. "Hello?" I answered. "Where are you?" she asked. There was a long pause. "Um, at home," I finally responded, thinking, "Duh!" Finally, she realized what she asked and started to laugh.

Okay, I'm blanking on specific incidents and characters, but it seems like my family and friends are all characters in different ways. I can't wait for the boys to get to know my family. At Thanksgiving, we lost the boys as soon as we entered my aunt's house, only seeing them in passing as they were being passed from one person to another. A few people came to me to complain that someone else wasn't sharing the babies as if I was supposed to mediate that conflict. I heard people negotiating: "I'll let you hold Tucker while I eat, but you have to give him back when I finish."

Those boys are loved, but they will still be in for a big spot of teasing as they get older. In my family you must have a sense of humor and not be thin-skinned--and I like it that way. I show up for Thanksgiving lunch and Christmas lunch, expecting to hear lots of laughter and arguments over who gets to go through the line first. My cousin and my sister are usually pretty close to the front.

I'll have to start jotting down notes at each family gathering because I forget them too soon now. I want to remember family moments to share with the boys, but my brain seems like Swiss cheese. My memory is shot. Now that I'm back at work, maybe my memory will return as well. I hope so. I miss it.