Falling into Fall Semester

I fell. Right on my face. That’s what the past two months have felt like—a continuous rising and falling action. New mothers often claim to better appreciate their own mothers after they’ve had babies; they now understand their mothers’ pain/struggle/sacrifice, etc. Well, I’m not a new mother, but I am a new teacher. Sure enough, I now see teachers (the good, the bad, and the ugly) in a whole new light. I now understand the pain/struggle/sacrifice, etc. that effective teaching demands. I now appreciate and respect teachers in a way I never had before.

Since I referenced good, bad, and ugly teachers, let’s discuss bad teachers for a moment. You know who I’m talking about: the scowling, I’m-only-here-because-I’m-getting-a-paycheck teachers. I realize that the line between good and bad teachers isn’t so clear-cut. Excellent, good-intentioned teachers have the potential to easily cross the boundary into “bad teacher” territory. It happens, I think, after they’ve dedicated time (an excessive amount of time), energy, blood, sweat, and tears into lesson-planning, only to have snotty little I’m-too-cool-for-anything-you-say-or-do students scoff at their brilliant intentions. Yap, I have some of “those” students, and I now understand why some teachers retreat to the “dark” side. Bad students could push good teachers to be bad teachers. Of course, most of us won’t allow the snotty snots to have that control. I won’t. (Deep sigh.) I won’t.

While I’ve had some not-so-pleasant instances since the beginning of fall semester, I’ve also had some rewarding experiences. There have been times when both teacher and students dropped their shields and weapons and crossed lines into “no man’s land”: times when we relinquished formalities and learned and gleaned and laughed; times when my lecture engrossed twenty-five attentive minds; times when an essay provoked hearty debates; times when a freewrite brought us (the girls, at least) to tears (yes this happened—another story for another post); times when I thought: maybe I do have what it takes to be a good teacher.

I continue to walk this thin line between the good, bad, and—just to make it complete—ugly. Teaching—effective teaching—is hard work. It takes time, dedication, patience, sacrifice, and coffee (or Coke, depending on the mood). I continue to stumble and fall, but I’ll continue (hopefully!) to rise and strive.