Mother Nature: Sadistic ________.

Fall brings to mind all the incredibly cute fall fashion clothes that I can't wear. Mainly because Mother Nature hates South Georgia. I'm not sure what South Georgia did to eternally offend Ma. I've got a few ideas, but most of them come after she started punishing us. (Although if Ma knew her stuff, she would practice "behavior modification" and wouldn't punish unless it served an "academic purpose." I hate education classes.) Every fall I peruse the racks at my favorite stores: NY and Co., Khols, Belk's, which is better than Penny's, and even Target. I know, I'm a cheapskate, but I'm ok with that. However, all of these stores have cute sweaters, scarves, and hats all in autumn colors. My hair looks absolutely amazing with fall colors. Even the burnt orange compliments my auburn locks. Thanks to the swealtering heat that mock me I don't get to wear the cute clothes. And the boots! Such cute boots that I will never be able to wear. This isn't Ma's fault, it's dad's fault, or rather his mother's fault. My calves are so huge that I can't fit into ANY boots. Cowboy boots, hooker thigh boots, mid-calve boots, and knee high boots all mock me from their stands in the store. I would give anything to fit into a pair of boots that I could wear with a cute blue jean skirt or plain dress and shawl, like Reese Witherspoon in "Sweet Home Alabama," not in a old granny shawl. Well obviously not anything. The gym has been calling my name for a while and I a good at ignoring it. And anyone wearing a scarf during fall in South Georgia is just kidding herself. I bet by the time she gets home she is sweating so much she needs another shower.

Good thing about fall weather, my feet finally stop sweating in my flip-flops.