Famous last words
When someone says, "Hey, y'all, watch this," I always perk up. After all, who knows? I may be about to see someone's life end in a particularly gruesome way. Actually, though, I more interested in the person's psychology. What makes a guy think it might be fun to be smashed in his private parts with a baseball bat while three other guys watch, laugh, and take their turn? Seriously! I guess I'm missing the hurt-me gene. Instead, I have the I-will-double-your-pain-if-you-hurt-me gene. I struggle with the turn-the-other-cheek philosophy. Instead, I think I get to slap both of your cheeks if you slap mine--and maybe add a well-placed punch to the stomach. Yeah, I guess I practice escalation. It's a good thing I'm not a Hatfield or McCoy. That feud would NEVER have ended.
Still, "Hey, y'all, watch this" grabs my attention. At the same time, though, it makes me feel gross, a little white trashish, as if I should be more cultured, more interested in watching CNN and trying to understand the health care debate instead of watching some guy try to jump from the top of this house onto the trampoline and then into the pool, ignoring the six-foot fence around the pool with decorative spikes on top, convinced that he'll clear those spikes easily. And sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he slips off the roof and lands in the flower beds beneath, perhaps his fall broken by a magnolia tree with prickly leaves. Sometimes he misses the trampoline entirely or perhaps hits the edge, landing with one leg on either side and all the pain that accompanies that scenario. Sometimes the trampoline part works okay, only to end up with a face smashed against the side of the fence instead of his body clearing it. Either way, what prompted the whole inquiry in the first place, the thought that maybe he should try this?
But there I am, watching and wondering about his intellect and common sense. A friend of mine says she watches The Maury Povich Show or The Jerry Springer Show because it makes her feel better about herself. Maybe that's why I watch stunt shows and stupid people in general. I don't know. I hope not. Whatever the reason is, I need to stop.
Still, "Hey, y'all, watch this" grabs my attention. At the same time, though, it makes me feel gross, a little white trashish, as if I should be more cultured, more interested in watching CNN and trying to understand the health care debate instead of watching some guy try to jump from the top of this house onto the trampoline and then into the pool, ignoring the six-foot fence around the pool with decorative spikes on top, convinced that he'll clear those spikes easily. And sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he slips off the roof and lands in the flower beds beneath, perhaps his fall broken by a magnolia tree with prickly leaves. Sometimes he misses the trampoline entirely or perhaps hits the edge, landing with one leg on either side and all the pain that accompanies that scenario. Sometimes the trampoline part works okay, only to end up with a face smashed against the side of the fence instead of his body clearing it. Either way, what prompted the whole inquiry in the first place, the thought that maybe he should try this?
But there I am, watching and wondering about his intellect and common sense. A friend of mine says she watches The Maury Povich Show or The Jerry Springer Show because it makes her feel better about herself. Maybe that's why I watch stunt shows and stupid people in general. I don't know. I hope not. Whatever the reason is, I need to stop.
posted by Donna Sewell at
8:41 AM
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