Oxymoron...or just morons

Oxymoron is one of those things that I have always had trouble coming up with on my own. When I see or hear an oxymoron it makes way more sense than having to come up with one on the spot. When I think of moron, I think of Jeremy’s uncle…whose name has slipped my mind and I will hopefully think of it momentarily. Oh there it is, Uncle Roy. Jeremy and I were riding down the road on one of our first dates and his phone rang. “What’s going on, moron?” I remember him saying. I was thinking, oh this must be one of the guys he works with…wrong. He informed methat it was one of his most favorite uncles. Oh, he must be young I thought. It’s ok to call a friend that is around the same age as you a moron, but you cannot call an older person a moron. Give me a break, we live in the south. That would be totally disrespectful. The first time I saw Uncle Roy, I thought, holy crap…this is an old man that Jeremy has been calling moron. As soon as we walked up, Uncle Roy says “Hey Rooster!”…Jeremy has red hair. After several hours of spending time around Uncle Roy, I quickly learned why it was ok that Jeremy had been calling him moron. It was his nickname…and moron had a nickname for everbody and everything. Moron has two grandsons…one is Mo and the other is Ron. If Moron does not know you, then you are either Gilligan or Skipper. Mo and Ron, the grandsons, call Moron Grumpy instead of grandpa or papa. I have a problem now…not only do I not know names of Jeremy’s family well, because all I can think of is the outrageous nicknames Uncle Roy has for them, I am on the chopping block. I have to be careful. I can’t say anything stupid…I am the next addition to the Swain family and every move I make could ultimately become my demise. What will my nickname be? It’s almost like you can see Moron’s wheels turning every time I am around as he attempts to conjure up a name for me. I know Jennifer is way too plain.

I never had a nickname growing up. My little cousins always call me Jenn-Jenn, but that came when I was a little older since they are younger than I am. My granny has always called me Jenny-Lou. Of course, there is the naturally occurring Jenn that I’m sure every Jennifer hears. I’m not good at coming up with nicknames. Spooger was my brother’s nickname when he was a baby. He was 2 ½ years younger than me…I’m pretty sure that I was trying to say Sugar but it just came out wrong and kind stuck.

I always wanted an awesome nickname. You know there are those people who get nicknames that just stick…people know them by their nickname more than their real name. I was always secretly jealous of those people. There was this guy in high school, I don’t even remember his real name, but his nickname was Juice. I may not want to know where his nickname originated, but that says something if I went all through 4 years of high school with the kid and ONLY know his nickname, not even his real name.

Jennifer Lopez-J. Lo…one of my all time favorites which strikes up an interesting point. I did have the nickname J. Go from a guy that I went to high school with, but he was the only person that called me this, so does it actually count as a nickname?

Arnold Schwarzenegger-The Governator

Kevin Federline-K-Fed…loser I know, but hey I can remember his nickname.

Sean Combs-Puff Daddy

Dwayne Johnson-The Rock…remember at pre-institute when we were coming up with the Sleepy Hollow cast for Lindsi’s demo…we didn’t even know his real name! All we could think of was “The Rock”

David Hasselhoff-The Hoff

Madonna-Material Girl or Madge...how do you go about getting two nicknames that are both well-known?

Jonathan Taylor Thomas-JTT…after hearing all of Rebecca’s crushes yesterday, I can’t help but wonder if this kid may have been one of them…

Charles Barkley-Sir Charles

Mark Wahlberg-Marky Mark

Joseph Stalin-Uncle Joe

Alex Rodriguez-A-Rod…I mean I didn’t even know this guy’s name…A-Rod just popped in my head and I had to Google to see what his real name is.

Last and probably my most favorite let’s see if you even know this person… Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr…you guessed it. The only and only Snoop Doggy Dog

A lot can be said about a nickname…it can even have a negative connotation for a person. So be careful out there…you could slip up and get a nickname for anything that you end up doing…Just remember, you aren’t allowed to pick your own nickname. You are at the mercy of everyone else...