Picture day and then some...

I can always go back and look at hairstyles. Did anyone tease their bangs? 7th grade was a big year for teased bangs. I thought it looked awesome. I didn’t go overboard either, just a nice amount of fluff to frame my forehead. My mom called it my spider web. She wasn’t crazy about hairspray, so my grandma would buy me some final net and I would smuggle it into the house. I would use just enough to get me through the day. That’s sort of how I started wearing makeup. Mom said I could wear blush and lipstick, but I could see the benefits of eye makeup. In junior high, I would secretly buy foundation and eye makeup and sneak it into the house. I would put it on while riding the school bus. Yes I am quite proud of being able to apply eye liner while riding a school bus. Now to be fair, I learned early on the secret to good makeup was a light touch. I didn’t want to look like the girls who slathered it on. One afternoon at the kitchen table my mom took a closer look and said, “Are you wearing eye make-up?” Bracing myself for the unavoidable punishment, I sheepishly replied, “yes.” Mom said, “That looks good. You’ll have to show me how you do it.”

You have to understand, my mother’s makeup routine involved foundation, powder, blush and lipstick and that was it. She got glamour shots for her 40th birthday (because that was the thing to do back then) and even after all of the spackling, they couldn’t improve on her beauty. Of course, I showed my mom how to apply the eye make-up, but she never really got into it. My parents are coming up on 35 years of marriage and everyone is shocked to see they look the same as the day they got married.

I just remembered another embarrassing part of my 7th grade picture. The photographer had me say cheeseburger instead of cheese. Now think about it saying “cheese” makes a smile, so I can understand why that word is used. Cheeseburger does not. It may start like a smile but the contortions your mouth makes after that do not need to be forever suspended in film. One of my shots look like I’m puckering up my abnormally large lips and protruding teeth. Really, that isn’t my choice of picture poses. Luckily, the photographer took a few shots, and at least one was salvageable. So please forgive me if I don’t say the happy-go-lucky word for picture day—I have a complex.