Dumb reality

The reality is that people and things are dumb.

Jon is dumb because he should be selfless enough to suck it up and try to be a good man to Kate.
Kate is dumb because she has let this whole reality thing go to her head.
I am dumb because I am worried about two people I don’t even know.
That semi-truck driver is dumb because he didn’t use a signal and I almost hit him.
Work is dumb because it is interfering with my ability to plan my wedding.
Florists are dumb because they are charging an arm and a leg for something that will die.
Gas is dumb because it costs $2.55 a gallon.
Food is dumb because it makes me fat.

So in order to turn this dumb blog into something partially not dumb let me do a little dumb research. I didn’t know that quite so many definitions for the word dumb existed.

1. lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted.
2. lacking the power of speech (often offensive when applied to humans): a dumb animal.
3. temporarily unable to speak: dumb with astonishment.
4. refraining from any or much speech; silent.
5. made, done, etc., without speech.
6. lacking some usual property, characteristic, etc.
7. performed in pantomime; mimed.
8. Computers. pertaining to the inability to do processing locally: A dumb terminal can input, output, and display data, but cannot process it. Compare intelligent (def. 4).
9. Nautical.
a. (of a barge) without means of propulsion.
b. (of any craft) without means of propulsion, steering, or signaling.

Hmm…wonder what google will give me about dumb stuff?
Ok so apparently there is a website full of “dumb” crap. Some of the links to “dumb” stuff are…
· “Chat with God-Talk with God live online” Not that I think talking to God is dumb, but online? Seriously?
· “Virtual Bubble Wrap-Pop bubble wrap online” Although popping bubble wrap is highly therapeutic, doing it online just doesn’t have that same affect.
· “Punch Celebs - A game where you punch celebrities in the face. Take out your aggression on famous stars such as Donald Trump, Simon Cowell, Britney Spears, Dr. Phil, Paris Hilton, Tom Cruise, Michael Jackson, and many more.” Doing this online is dumb. Go punch your husband or a wall or something. (Not really…I would never punch Jeremy…I don’t think…)
· “Virtual Garden - Plant flowers in your online garden.” Get your lazy butt up and go plant a real garden.
· “Animal Noises - This is a virtual toy for kids.” Just curious…does a giraffe make noise? Who had the job of coming up with this website and how DUMB did they look when they were trying to determine animal noises?
· “Bloody Messages - Send a bloody message to a friend online.” Because I do want a message in blood from one of my friends…
· “Virtual Stapler - Staple things.” I staple things all day…why would I want to staple virtual crap?
· “Hit The Bastard - Throw baseballs at Saddam.” Saddam is already dead. I don’t think there is any need to still be throwing things at him.
· “Layoff Game - Layoff workers to save your company money.” Isn’t this going on enough in the real world?

What scares me the most about all of this is that there are 1,765 members of this website. That means 1, 765 people actually took some time to register and associate their name with a DUMB website.
I will leave you with a quote from my favorite dumb person…

“I think there’s a difference between ditsy and dumb. Dumb is just not knowing. Ditsy is having the courage to ask.” ~Jessica Simpson
Nice.