Things I'd Like to Know

In response to Lindsi's question: I’d like to know how to eat this pig in a blanket and type at the same time without looking like a pig. It doesn’t seem appropriate to simply stuff it in my mouth and type.

I’d like to know why when I wake up in the morning, my fitted sheet is pulled off at the top left and right. And the allergen pad is only pulled off on one side.

I’d like to know what Lindsi and Donna are thinking.

I’d like to know why my new camera phone sucks in comparison to my old one. What’s up with that?

I’d like to know how soon it will be before Cindy Kay pops a cap in someone’s ass. (I’m quoting Nick here, I think.)

I’d like to know why my mom doesn’t just throw Cool Whip containers away. I mean who really needs that many containers?

I’d like to know the purpose of the marker between the LCD projector and the ceiling.

I’d like to know whether or not I grind my teeth. My dentist always asks me. I SLEEP BY MYSELF. I DON’T KNOW!

I’d like to know how it is that I can eat this quiche that contains mushrooms when I dissected a sheep’s eyeball yesterday, and it looked strangely like a mushroom.

I’d like to know why the Taco Bell on Ashley Street doesn’t use gloves.

I'd like to know if I can write more than one sentence.