Rituals

Hmm, what are the rituals in my life? I'm not sure how many I have right now. Many of my rituals involved food, and they've disappeared because many foods I once loved have disappeared.

Let me switch to the Writing Project, and try to brainstorm some rituals:

• eating breakfast together--it's the breaking of bread, the aspect of communion, not a formalized ritual such as the dipping of the bread into the wine, but a ritual nonetheless, one that moves us away from a class and more toward a community
• writing together--the insistence that teachers must write is one of the key tenets of the Writing Project, both at the national level and the local site. Regardless of discipline and grade level, teachers should experience the attempt to craft meaning, the attempt to pull together a world on the page, whatever shape that world takes, whether it involves the genre of poetry, fiction, memoir, notes, presentations, grants, letters, etc. Without writing, teachers become distracted by what scholars say about writing. Clearly, BWP values those discussions, but they need to be grounded by the reality of classrooms, timetables, and our own experiences.
• sharing--perhaps the cornerstone of the Writing Project. It's not enough to write and hide one's writing away in a notebook. Publishing, on some level, even if that level is simply speaking words aloud, is necessary. Similar to eating together, sharing promotes community. It showcases that writers have good days and bad days. It creates an atmosphere that prompts growth.

Okay, let's go back to me. What are the rituals in my life? I'm still drawing a blank. Grrr. What's wrong with my? I don't usually go blank on writing topics.

Okay, it's clearly time to ditch the topic and move on. Maybe I'll just write about my day. I woke up at 6:10, three minutes before my alarm was set, and it was set fifteen minutes early because I needed to go by VSU to photocopy my log. I thought about going up there at 9:15 last night when I finished it, but I was exhausted, so I decided to get up early instead.

Last night was productive. I typed up comments from Stuart's demo, wrote letters about Jennifer's and Stuart's demos, wrote the log and strategy for it, revised the syllabi for the ISI, unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it, and did some other stuff that escapes me know. I photocopied the demo eval forms right after the ISI yesterday, so I already had that done. Basically, I worked yesterday from 7:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. with a short break to make egg sandwiches for dinner.

And yet I'm not that tired today. I thought I would be. Tonight's the night I have to go to Mom and Dad's for dinner. Wes has a board meeting for the Rotary Club, and this meeting is also a social. It starts at 5:30. Who eats that early? I'll barely be home from the ISI by that time. Well, I'll definitely be ready by then, but normally, I would just be getting home, and then I'd still have the demo comments to type. I guess they may not get typed tonight unless the meeting doesn't go too long.

Ooh, plus I still have to put the quesadillas together for Thursday's lunch. I guess that can happen Wednesday night. I haven't quite figured out what all I need to bring. Maybe that will be the next list.

• griddle
• cooking oil
• spatula
• quesadillas
• cooler with sour cream
• salsa
• pizza cutter
• one real plate for cutting the quesadillas

I wanted to make a taco salad to go with it, but that's not happening now, I see. Oh well, the quesadillas should be sufficient. I'll pick up some chips and dips for munching while I'm heating the quesadillas. I made them less spicy than normal. I usually use hot salsa, but I don't know people's tolerance for spice, so I wimped out.

The twins are stirring. They're gymnasts, I think.

During creative writing group, I need to write an end comment to the grant. I've done marginal comments already. I think that's all that I still have left to do to be caught up until the demo today, which will put me behind again. Oh well. Maybe we should go back to demos in the morning. No, that would be good for me, but not for the ISI, and the ISI matters more. Having demos right after lunch gives the presenter a chance to use lunch to make any last-minute adjustments and to make sure the technology is working correctly.

Speaking of lunch, I wonder where we're going for lunch today. Ooh, and that reminds me of other tasks to do.

• Review the newsletter draft Diana sent me.
• Check the master calendar, brochure draft, and closing ceremonies list Emily sent me.
• Contact anyone from the closing ceremonies list for an RSVP.
• Contact ISI folks about closing ceremonies tasks.

Hmm, it's the normal end-of-ISI craziness. This week and next week I'll be struggling to make sure everything is ready.

Okay, I need to think about more restful ideas, which is where I thought Rituals would take me as a topic. When I got stressed, I used to relax by soaking in a hot bubble bath. That's out. No hot baths for baby incubators, even though the idea of one entices me. When I struggled to sleep, particularly to stop my brain from running through all the tasks I needed to accomplish, I used to take a Tylenol PM. That's out. No drugs for the twins, at least not yet. I assume they'll share some good drugs with me when I have the C-section. When I needed a pick-me-up, I used to head to Starbucks or Elliano's for a grande, non-fat caramel mocha. For a while there I lost my taste for chocolate. It's back now, but I'm supposed to stay away from artificial sweeteners. Caffeine also isn't great for me, but I'm allowed one cup of anything caffeinated if I want it. I thought about stopping for a decaffeinated caramel mocha this morning, but I know I'm not getting enough water, so I decided to stick with water. This conversation with myself, though, has changed my mind. During the break I'm heading to Einstein's to see what the coffee options include since I CANNOT stop myself from yawning.

Surely, that's enough rambling for today. I pity who reads this if anyone does. My mind wanders from one topic to another like a kid distracted by the next shiny object. I pick up the idea, play with it a bit, drop it, and run to the next shiny thought. No coherence, no logic, no organization. Maybe the twins are zombies, and they're starting to eat my brain already.