Blackwater Writing Project

June 19, 2006

Trials/Tests/Tribulations

Why do these three words go together so well? They all mean the same but then again different things.

OJ just reared his head. What a travesty that trial was. A forgone conclusion that has yet to be fully resolved. I have a morbid interest in things of a gory nature, at least according to my hubby. I bought a book called Murders of the Black Museum long time ago. It is filled with 50 cases of murder and mayhem, and the ways in which some people have been caught while others remain anonymous. I think there was a second book, will have too look for it. Crime is interesting to read about. There are unknowns, and new technologies that make some of the details hard to undeerstand but possible with thought about what is being accomplished.

If the word test was the only one listed then the topic would slide automatically to school and a regurgitation of what has been learnt. But because it sits beside trial and tribulation it causes the thought that is it a test of a person's character. Will I pass muster when I stand for my test. Have I failed in some way to reach my potential or to do the best I could?

My children are tested each day not just in school but at hme with whatever task is set for them to accomplish. A trial today will be to see if they do their reading and writing even though I did not write it on the list of things to be done. Their sense of duty is on trial as much as anything. Can they be trusted to do what is supp;osed to be a daily occurence, or will they attempt to wriggle out of the dreaded assignment?

Tribulations we have all gone through. According to the dictionary this is a great moment of stress or trial. How small a test or trial is just that? When does it become a tribulation and affect a person on a deeper level?

A trial right now is to stop my stomach from talking too loud. All is peaceful and I rumble away like a train rolling over the tracks. If it gets much worse this will become a tribulation.

Demos are a requirement of this institution, theres another odd word, and we all stress about how to proceed. Testing ourselves on the information to be given, we face a trial of standing before our peers. This is such a hard thing to do. And yet we do it every day in some form or other. But so much rests upon those minutes. This was perhaps the hardest thing I have had to do in a while and it was definitely a good thing to have it over. Next time I present that information there should be less tribulations because I know that it works and is a concept that spreads across age and curriculum.

What are others writing about this morning? Only a couple of us are tapping away. How much of a trial is this to others in the room? Please tell me if this bothers you. I do not want to make your task harder than it needs to be. Trying to write for 45 minutes has become easier, but there are still disruptions and other events that can cause us to lose the thought we had or to make this seem like an important test.

That leads me to think of the Praxis, both 1 & 2. No breaks in between, just a series of tests to determine what you know. The first one felt like a regular test, of course getting into the Ed program was a goal, but the test itself did not have a very strenuous feel to it. Because of the expense, I felt more worried about passing and needing to come up with the fees to pay for any part should I not meet the requisite score first go around. PHEW!! Next came work for the second part. Praxis 2 is a trial. No longer good enough to know how to write an essay or find sentences that fit better in the context, now we had to prove what we said and decide what others felt was the best response. 4 hours later and it felt as if all reasonable thought had gone forever. Would the jury looking at the transcript of this trial find me guilty of not knowing enough or justify what I said and give me a certificate? Time would tell, the jury would be out for a month. AT least I had a time frame in which to get nervous and suffer the stress of not knowing.

Of course marriage has to be included. This may be one of the greatest tests we ever take. It is hard to live with another person, and have to come together while being so very different. A deliberate testing of the other occurs daily, even after many years. Do most people realize they are doing this? I don't think so. Being a military wife meant my husband would leave for weeks, months, or a year at a time. Especially at the beginning, whenever the time drew near for him to leave I caused fights. It did not matter about what, just anything to see how far I could push. Easier to say piss off than goodbye with a kiss, but the real test was would he come back and stay with me. This was a test of wills.

Childbirth is a test of strength, but no one warns you that the real test is just beginning. The many sufferings that happen through the years are tempered with smiles and hugs. It will be many years before discovering whether the trials and tribulations of the terrible twos, the selfish fours, and don't forget the tweens before the real thing. Frought with hidden agendas, child rearing is a battle of wits and wills. Who wins depends on the how strategic the battles have been. It is hoped that all involved come through relatively unscathed and capable of passing on to others a wonder that becomes a wanting to try their own hand at this effort which is essential for survival of the species.

Should I get another piece of bread, it is rather delicious and surely one piece will not be an undoing of a diet which I never seem to start. Test myself to see if I can keep my mind off of food until the writing is done. But then there are logs and demos, it is rude to eat while another is talking. Oh blast, at some point I have to shake off some of the rules I grew up with because otherwise I will not get to do many things. This is not a test, trial, or tribulation, it is a fact and I must decide whether it is a goal for which I wish to aim?

1 Comments:

  • I like this sentence: "Frought with hidden agendas, child rearing is a battle of wit and wills." It also describes teaching, I think.

    By Blogger Donna Sewell, at 7:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home