Holidays and other ramblings on a Monday

I thought summer was an unofficial teacher holiday, but this summer that is not the case. Why do British and Australian people say they are going on holiday when they go on vacation? We are going on holiday July 6-13 and I am so excited. We are going to Disney. I’m so behind in my planning, but I’m hoping to get caught up today over lunch.

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, simply because of the food. My mother makes food that she doesn’t make any other time of year. She simply doesn’t cook the rest of the year. Yesterday, she took us to Golden Corral to celebrate father’s day. Their food doesn’t come close to hers. She makes dressing and giblet gravy that is out of this world.

Of course I love Christmas too. However, I feel like it is so commercialized that I almost hate to admit that I like it. Every year, I wish that I could make it more “religious” for my family. I always plan to read the Bible verses about Jesus’ birth, but I never do. I do read the kids tons of stories about the birth of Jesus, just not from the Bible.

I miss holidays with my family. When my mom’s parents were alive, we always had huge family get-togethers for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, my family doesn’t even speak. My cousin from North Carolina was here this weekend with his home-wrecker girl friend, and he didn’t even come to speak. Maybe that was because he feels guilty about what he did to his family, but I’m not sure. I’ve told myself over and over not to judge him, but it is so hard. How can man who has a great wife and two beautiful kids have an affair with a married woman with kids? Did they even think about the ramifications? I think not.

My dad is the worst about holidays. He pretends to be involved in getting presents, but my step-mom always buys everything, and it is usually something weird. I guess I should just be happy they include us. I am bothered that I feel obligated to go and see them over the holidays, and I feel obligated to buy them presents. I think they should just be happy to see me and their grandchildren. Maybe I’ll try that this Christmas.

I wish today was a holiday! I had such a hard time leaving Jeff and the kids this morning. I love being with my babies so much. Jeremiah was sprawled over our bed this morning, enjoying a snooze with Mommy and Daddy. Abby-Kate was up at the crack of dawn to watch Little Mermaid. She is so precious! They have to take Buddy to the vet today to get fixed. I know he is only a dog, but I’m so worried about him. He weighs three pounds, and I can’t even tell that his “boys” are there yet, but the vet assured me everything was there and ready to be snipped. I don’t want Abby-Kate to suffer through losing another pet, but I also know God is in control and I just need to get over myself.

Related to holidays, I still remember when my dad, out of spite for my mom, told me at six years old that there is no such think as the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy. How can a grown man be so petty? Basically, he took my childhood away because I no longer had that innocence that most children have. Granted I know there are Jehovah Witness children who never believe in those things, but I did, and he thought it would be good payback to my mom for divorcing him. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, so I let her think I still believed until I was 13. I couldn’t do it any longer after that. She was so angry with him, but I wasn’t. He can’t help who he is and what influences him. He is what he is, which isn’t much in the form of a father, but he makes a pretty good grandfather.

This year, holidays will be very different because Jeff won’t be here. He’ll leave in September for Afghanistan, so he’ll miss all the holidays this fall and winter. I’ve already started thinking about how different it will be. Yesterday, we talked about how next Father’s day, he won’t be with us. I hope the kids will adjust okay to him being gone. I know we will all be fine, but I hate that he will continue to miss milestones. Also, I will be left with Sherry for an entire year, with no support/help. Thankfully, my work schedule will be such that I can have time with the babies, but I know they will miss him terribly. Even now with Jeff only being gone four days a week, he will cry and say, “I miss my Daddy.” What is funny is that last week, when he got a spanking, he said he wanted his Daddy. He never does that, but now I guess he has started to realize Daddy isn’t usually the one who does the spanking and punishing. Mommy does all that. Daddy is the fun one who comes in for a few days and then leaves again.

What will I do for the holidays this year? Traveling to Atlanta to stay with Jeff’s family when he is not here is something I do not look forward to. He is my buffer. I’m way too blunt for his family, so I can usually use him as my go-between. Without him here to do that, things might be interesting. I know I’ll have to go because Mel will have just had the baby, and I have to do the “good aunt” thing, but man, this will be interesting. I can’t stand fake, and that is what I think they are most of the time. They put on a face and act like everything is great, when it really isn’t. Why not just address the issues? That is what my mom and I do, and that works great for us. We’ll get mad and yell at each other, and then we move on after the issue is settled. That is “normal” to me.

I’ve tried to wrack my brain and think of a favorite holiday experience, but I really don’t have one. I’m hoping that this Christmas the family (minus Jeff) can go to the mountains. I think that would be a great way to avoid thinking about Jeff missing Christmas. I also always feel guilty that I can’t buy the kids all the presents they want, so this way, I wouldn’t have to carry things with me. I could just have a couple of things. A friend of mine started doing three gifts for her kids. She said that she talked about the Jesus story and then explained that He only got three gifts, so that is what the kids would get. I have already started prepping Abby-Kate for this, but I’m not sure she really gets the idea. Saturday morning, she started asking me what gifts I have her for Christmas. I told her that Santa is the one who decides that, but she kept pestering me. I finally was able to change the subject, but I was reminded that I don’t think she gets the idea of Christmas. I’ve got to do a better job.

Okay, the best holiday memory I have centers around Abby-Kate. Well, she wasn’t the center yet, but almost. We found out a few days after Thanksgiving 2003 that I was pregnant. We decided to surprise the family by telling them at Christmas. So, I bought baby rattles for all the important members of the family. I wrapped them and then included a note from baby Adamson about how he/she looked forward to meeting them next Christmas. Then, we made everyone open theirs at the same time. My mom almost went into shock. Jeff’s family was excited too, and there were even a few tears. I think everyone kept their rattles as a keepsake. Mama even lets the kids play with hers. Right now, I’m so tired that I can’t think clearly, so that is causing the details and fluff to be a little fuzzy. Hopefully I’ll get better as the day goes on.